New Identity
by myhappywhenskiesaregrey
Summary: After Meredith pulled the plug, everyone thought Derek was dead. But little did they know, he was very much alive.
1. Chapter 1

AN: This is my first story so I am very sorry. I would love feedback/notes. Thanks for reading!

* * *

"You're telling me I can't even speak to my wife? Children? Mother? Sisters?" Derek was still groggy from the coma but he was coherent enough to know that he was no longer in Seattle.

"I am afraid not. Any contact with your family could put you and your family at serious risk." The agent was impatient, he had answered the same question four times now.

"There has to be some way I can contact them! They think I am dead!" All he wanted was to see him wife. Kiss her. Feel the warmth of her skin.

"I'm afraid not, Dr. Shepherd… uh Monsieur Andre…", explained the CIA agent. He was sympathetic to Derek's cause but he was under direct orders to make sure Derek Shepherd stayed deceased in Seattle.

Derek Shepherd had just woken up from a coma. After the traumatic car crash in Seattle and an emotional goodbye from his wife, Derek was transported secretly to Paris, France to start a new life as Jacques Andre.

The agent handed Derek papers, "Here is a new passport and birth certificate. You are now Jacques Andre."

"Really? You could've picked a better name than that?" Derek was more annoyed than anything. He hadn't processed the fact that he was starting a new life in France.

"In addition, here is ten thousand euros; it should get you started. I suggest you find a place to live and a job. I know this will be hard but you need to find a way to accept reality. You are no longer Derek Shepherd."

Derek didn't fully comprehend those words, You are no longer Derek Shepherd. After a moment of silence, his eyes opened wide and he realized what was going on. He tensed up and rudely asked the agent to leave, "Get out. Now."

As he walked out the door, the agent reminded Derek of the securitiy issues, "Please keep in mind that you may not reveal your previous identity to anyone or you will be transfered to a new location with another new identity."

"Trust me, one new identity is enough." Derek was annoyed with the agent. He understood what the stakes were. His work with the government was highly top secret. That didn't change the fact that he was leaving behind his whole life in Seattle. He just wanted some time alone; to think. So much had happened in the past forty-eight hours. He was worried about his family; especially Meredith. He missed her so much. He was worried about how she was taking his "death". She had her fair share of deaths and tragedy but he knew that this would change everything.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Thank you for all the kind reviews. It means a lot to me. This is kinda a filler chapter. I am still thinking about where I want to take this. I have some ideas but nothing is organized. If you guys have any ideas or suggestions please let me know. I need all the help I can get lol. Never wrote fanfiction before. Sorry if this chapter makes you angry. It doesn't really reveal anything. Okay, I am going to stop rambling. Hope you like it. :)

* * *

A few days later, Derek was released from the hospital. With his new identity in hand, he walked out into the busy streets of Paris. His head was full of conflicting thoughts. He knew his work with Brain Mapping with the White House wasn't top secret. What could've possibly happened to get him here?

As the day crept on, he continued to worry. He missed Meredith. He made her so happy. All he wanted was to call her and tell her that he was very much alive.

However, after a couple weeks in the hospital and a brutal new reality, Derek didn't have much hope. How would he be able to explain all this if he got the chance to go back to Seattle?

Wallowing in self-pity, he managed to find a small hotel to stay the night in.

* * *

"Mommy, where's daddy?" whispered Zola as Meredith tucked her into bed.

"He's away, honey." Meredith explained, holding back tears. She was trying to be strong for herself and her children. She experienced more tragedy than most people experience in a lifetime. But that didn't make losing her husband any more bearable.

Since his death and the news of her pregnancy, she spent lots of restless nights trying to convince herself that she was going to be ok. She could live without Derek. She may never love someone like she loved Derek but she was beginning to accept that. She had two, almost three, beautiful children to love.

However, she was not proud of her current actions. After finding out she was pregnant, she fled from Seattle, just like her mother did many years before. _The carousel never stops turning_ , she thought. She couldn't face Seattle right now. She needed some space to figure out things. When she was ready, she would return.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Thank you so much for all of your sweet and kind reviews. They help a lot. I really struggled with this chapter. Again, if you have any suggestions let me know. If you feel as though this isn't Derek, let me know too. I hope you guys like it.

* * *

After a few months in Paris, Derek had found a small apartment and a job. The job was nothing special; simple and boring. He had tried to make the best of the situation. Maybe if he would stick it out for a while they would let him contact Meredith. He was desperate at this point.

One day, he woke up after a typical dream of Meredith and realized he had had enough. He was going to visit the agent that day and demand to see his wife.

When he arrived at their usual meeting spot, a small café, the agent was already in their spot sipping his coffee.

"Bonjour, how are you doing today," inquired the CIA agent.

"Absolutely, horrible. You?" Derek was more bitter than ever. This was not going to be a friendly conversation.

"I'm pretty good, actually. Thanks for asking." He liked getting on Derek's nerves. What else could you do in this situation?

"I didn't come here for small talk." Derek was cold and bitter.

"Before you say anything, I must remind you of a few things. We've been over this, Derek. You cannot contact your wife, children, sisters, or mother. Any contact would put you and more importantly them in grave danger. I can sense you are past your safety but think about their safety."

"Are you sure you can't tell me anything?", begged Derek. He was still angry but after the agent mentioned his wife and family he slipped down into the depression he had been trying to hide. He had been asking the same question for the past three months; "why?". "I don't even know what happened or how I got here."

"Exactly, we would like to keep it that way. The less you know, the better." The agent was a broken record now. He gave Derek the same 'by-the-book' answer every time he asked.

Derek normally kept his cool but this time he was furious. He held back every word he wanted to say and stormed out of the café. He had an idea. _What bad could a few minutes do?_ , he thought. He headed back to his apartment to make a call.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Thank you again for all of your kind reviews. I am kinda on a streak right now with writing. I know where I want to go. I also tried to make this chapter a little longer for you guys. Feel free to write me with any suggestions or tips. Thanks :)

* * *

Derek left the café and practically ran back to his small Parisian apartment. Once there, he curled up into the corner of his bedroom and dialed the numbers he knew by heart.

The moment of silence sent shivers down his spine.

"I'm sorry the number you are trying to reach is currently unavailable. Please try again later."

"S**T!" Derek dialed again hoping he had mistakenly dialed the wrong number.

"I'm sorry the num…" He threw the phone across the room, hearing the screen shatter as it hit the wall. He curled up into a tighter ball and wept. Not only did he severely miss Seattle and his wife, he was suffering from PTSD. He hadn't had a decent full night of sleep since before the accident. After a few minutes of hysterical crying the doorbell rang. He ignored it. He was not in a state to socialize with the neighbors who frequently rang his doorbell after hearing a crash or a scream come from his apartment.

The doorbell kept ringing and Derek stayed in the wet ball.

After about the twentieth ring, Derek got up and looked through the peephole of the door. He wasn't that surprised that the CIA agent was standing outside his door.

"What the hell are you doing here. I thought we were keeping things covert." Derek had no energy to deal with him.

"I just got a call from my technician. Apparently, you tried to call your wife." The agent noticed Derek's red eyes and trembling limbs. "Are you ok?"

"You bugged my phone?!" Derek was furious. But after a few moments he realized that the CIA gave him this phone and was not that surprised that they had bugged it. He realized that things were not that simple. It's one thing to hear someone tell you can't talk to your wife, it's another when it becomes a reality.

"Monsieur Andre, let me remind you again. You may not contact Meredith or your family." The agent was really getting tired of all this. However, he understood Derek's frustration.

Derek slammed the door in the agent's face and went back to his bedroom. He needed to calm himself down. He was afraid he was going to say or do something he couldn't take back.

After a long hot shower, Derek curled up in his bed and fell asleep.

* * *

Derek walked into the bedroom to find his beautiful wife asleep. He set his briefcase down and took his suit jacket off. After changing out of his suit and into pajamas, he climbed into his side of the bed and closed his eyes.

"Derek?" Meredith wasn't sleeping. She was just pretending to so she could put off what she needed to tell him. They had been through so much the past few months and even though she knew he wanted this, she couldn't imagine what this would do to their marriage and both of their careers. Nervous, she took a deep breath. "I have something to tell you."

"What's wrong, Meredith?" Derek could feel his wife shaking under the sheets. A thousand paranoid scenarios raced through his mind. After his accident, their relationship was estranged. Derek had PTSD but wasn't ready to talk and Meredith was worried.

With all of her might, Meredith managed to mutter the words, "I'm pregnant." Derek rolled over onto his side so he could see his wife. She met his eyes and they held a gaze until she muttered again, "Say something, please." Derek started to tear up. This was the best thing that had happened since the accident.

"How long?" Derek whispered. He could tell this was difficult for Meredith. She was scared and he could feel it.

"Six weeks; I knew the day of the accident but I haven't had a good chance to tell you… And I was afraid something was going to happen again; like before."

"I'm so happy." Derek carefully slipped his hands around Meredith's waist and pulled her close. They laid there in each other's arms just steadily breathing.

(ringing sound) Derek's dream was interrupted by his alarm clock reminding him to get up for work. After hitting the snooze button, he laid there in a bitter-sweet mindset. The dream had pleasantly reminded him of his life back in Seattle. Before the accident, he had told his wife that he wanted more children and he was serious. He wanted a big family and now that was taken away.

* * *

Derek managed to get through his day. Working as a shop clerk was easy and boring. No matter how much he tried to focus on his job, he could not get the idea of Meredith being pregnant out of his head. As he walked back to his apartment, he thought about how much he loved his big overwhelming family and he wanted that for Meredith. Although, he was glad she was not alone. He knew Amelia, Zola, and Bailey would be her family. He also knew that Alex and Richard would look after her too. No matter how much he tried to convince himself that she would be okay without him, he kept going back to the day he returned from Washington D.C. _I can live without you, but I don't want to, I don't ever want to._ These words he heard just months before rang in his head.

When he reached his apartment, he realized what he needed to do. He couldn't live without her. He didn't want to. He was determined to figure out how he got here and how he was going to get back.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Sorry for taking so long on this chapter. This past week was hell and I kinda struggled with this chapter. I thought I knew exactly where I want to go but I'm having trouble with the specifics. Please comment. Thank you for all of your great reviews. I really appreciate it.

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Meredith walked into her mother's old house after a long day of work. Amelia and Maggie had already put the kids to bed for her but she always looked forward to tucking them in, no matter how late her arrival was. After tucking them in, she went to her room, changed, and climbed into bed. She was exhausted. That was her life; always moving. She had a big surgery the next day and desperately needed some sleep but her mind would not shut off. After an hour or so of tossing and turning, she went downstairs to do some laundry. She was almost out of underwear and her kids were almost out of clothes as well. She thought to herself, I need a housekeeper. She had been saying that to herself for awhile now. After Derek died, keeping the house clean and the laundry done was hard. She had Amelia and Maggie to help but they were surgeons and had lives of their own.

After an hour or two of doing laundry and tidying up around the house, she finally felt like she could close her eyes and sleep. She climbed back into bed and dozed off into a dream.

…

"Honey, the pilot just came over the intercom and said that we are landing in twenty minutes or so." Meredith woke up to the gentle sound of her husband's voice.

"Finally." Derek and Meredith were on a fourteen hour flight to Paris, France for their anniversary. They had never really celebrated extravagantly for their anniversary before but they both had just survived life threatening accidents and they needed this trip.

After going through customs and baggage claim, Meredith and Derek took a taxi to their hotel. Walking into their hotel, Derek said to Meredith, "Babe, I'm going to need to take a shower before dinner."

"I need one too." Meredith gave Derek a coy wink. He grabbed her hand and pulled her into the bathroom.

…

After a long shower together and another round in the bed, Meredith rolled over to look at her husband. "We should do this more often." Derek turned his body to get eye contact with his wife.

"Sex? Or vacation?" Derek smiled.

"Both," replied Meredith with a giggle. Meredith leaned in to give Derek a light gentle kiss. Derek wrapped his arms around his wife and pulled her close. She felt so safe in his arms. It felt like the whole world has just vanished. His accident, her accident, and everything they had been through didn't matter. They were together and happy, that's what mattered. Meredith wished she could stay in his arms forever.

That evening they had a lovely dinner at a small french restaurant. They spent the rest of the week touring the city and encircled in their relationship.

…

Meredith was awaken from this wonderful dream by Ellis fussing. As she picked up her beautiful baby, she could not stop smiling. She loved having dreams about Derek. It was one of the only things she had left of him. More importantly, she had three children from him. Although she lost her husband, these wonderful children reminded her of him everyday and she wouldn't want it any other way.

* * *

Derek had been in Paris less than a year. With his small part-time job, he could barely afford a comfortable living. He had put most of the money the agent gave him in a savings account. He had hoped he would find something useful to spend it on. He figured a computer was useful now. If he was going to figure out what had happened with him, he needed a laptop that he could hide from the CIA agent.

One afternoon, he visited a local library to order a laptop. He knew that if he went to a store, the CIA would know. They had been keeping close tabs on him, especially after the phone call incident. After order a simple laptop, he waited for it to arrive.

He received the laptop a few days later and visited a cafe with free internet. After sitting down and booting up his laptop, he didn't know where to start. He opened a Word document and started to type out everything he knew.

 _NIH_

 _Brain Mapping_

 _Renee Collier_

 _Meredith_

 _Seattle_

 _Zola_

 _Baily_

 _…_

Brainstorming was not helping. The more Derek tried to reason, the more upset he got. After a sip of coffee, he tried again.

 _Secret Mission?_

 _Assassination Attempt?_

He felt he was now getting somewhere. However, he didn't know where to look. He thought, _I can't just google why I ended up in Paris._

It was now getting late. He packed up and walked back to his apartment with questions running through his head. He may not have gotten very far today but he was not going to give up.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Sorry this is kinda short. I promise longer chapters in the future. I am on vacation and I haven't had a lot of time to write. If I do, its in the backseat of a car and I get motion-sick so that doesn't really go well. I hope you like this chapter. Something finally happens :) Comments and reviews are always welcome. This is my first story so all help is appreciated. Thank you again for all the kind reviews. They light my spirit! :))))

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"I see you have a follow-up appointment tomorrow at the hospital." The agent looked up from his papers to make eye contact with Derek.

"I do. But I will tell you that I don't need it. I'm perfectly fine. I am a world class neurosurgeon. I think I can take care of himself." Derek chuckled under his breath at his sarcasm. He had given up on being nice to the agent. He was actually proud that he hadn't beaten him up yet. He felt he had every right to be upset; considering the circumstances.

"Were. You _were_ a world class neurosurgeon. Now you are just a nobody in Paris." The agent had gotten used to Derek's sarcasm and gladly returned the favor. "I urge you to go tomorrow, for your safety."

"I'll think about it." Derek stood up from the table in the small cafe. "Have a good day. See you next week." As he walked out the door he pondered the fact they met every week. It didn't occur to him until now. Whatever happened must have been pretty big to have them watch him so closely. Each day Derek noticed more things. He wrote one down every time he thought of one. Hopefully one day he would have enough pieces to put the puzzle together.

...

"How's Ellis?" Meredith was face timing with Christina. Since Christina moved to Switzerland, video chat became their usually communication. Although they were thousands of miles apart, they still needed each other.

"She doesn't want to sleep and she poops a lot but other than that she's great." This was not Meredith's first baby. She honestly didn't mind. She loves the beautiful girl, no matter how much she smelled.

"How are you?" Christina had used the baby question to butter Meredith up. She knew Meredith was secretly struggling.

"I'm ok. Ok as I can be, I guess. He was in my dream last night though."

"You want to talk about it?"

"We were in Paris for our anniversary. But it was totally unrealistic. We would never go to Paris. We got three kids and it's too far."

"It was a dream, Meredith. It doesn't have to be 100% realistic. Oh, speaking of Paris I leave tonight for there. I have a few surgeries there this week. Hey Mer, I gotta go. My patient decided to code on me. I'll talk to you later. I love you."

"I hate it when they do that. Love you too. Have fun in Paris." The screen went black.

...

"Good morning, Dr. Yang." Christina had just arrived at the hospital in Paris. She was exhausted. Her flight was delayed over two hours and had just arrived just hours before she had to be at the hospital. The nurse continued, "If you will follow me this way, I will take you to the Cardiology wing." Christina followed. She couldn't wait for the big surgery she was here for.

...

"Your follow-up labs look good. Do you have any migraines? Vision Problems? Nausea?" Derek couldn't concentrate on the doctor's questions. He was too overwhelmed with being back in a hospital. Plus, he was a damn good neurosurgeon. He asked patients those same questions for years. He thought, _I wonder if I could become a doctor again…_ "Monsieur?"

"Umm….no…. No problems." Derek didn't realize how long he had been distracted. "Can I go now?"

"Sure, you will need a final follow-up in six months but other than that you look good. Thank you for coming in. You may leave now." The doctor collected his papers and walked out the room. Derek collected his things and walked out after him. He turned to walk down the hallway when he saw Dr. Cristina Yang at the end of the hallway walking towards him. Fear of her seeing him, he ducked into an empty room. Shit. He wondered why she was here. He knew she had moved to Switzerland but why was she in Paris? After a few seconds of fear and worry, he realized he could use this encounter to his advantage. The CIA wasn't here; that he knew of. He had been wishing for a connection to his old life for so long and he finally had one. He waited for her to get to the door and pulled her into the room.

"Excuse me, sir, what are you…. DEREK? What the hell are you doing here! You are supposed to be dead." Cristina started to panic. Her breathing became heavy and short. Cristina turned to face the man and didn't recognize him. The Derek she knew was always freshly shaved and groomed. This man had a beard and greasy hair that looked like it hadn't been washed in weeks. Although, his clothes looked clean. Apparent from his clothes, he looked like a homeless man or nomad.

"Breathe, I'll explain. Just not here. Not with people around." Derek made eye contact with her. He saw the confusion in her eyes. He then realized that he hadn't shaved in a while and that he probably didn't look anything like his old self.

"I don't know who you are or who you think you are but you are not Derek Shepherd, Dr. Derek Shepherd, McDreamy, Meredith's husband." Cristina pulled herself together and started to walk out the door but stopped at the sound of Derek's voice. Derek became incredibly sad inside. He could not mess up this opportunity.

"Cristina, you have to hear me out. I've been stuck in this fake identity for months and I haven't been able to talk to anyone. Please. I'm begging you. You are my only hope." Derek was desperate at this point. He needed Cristina to understand. He needed her to listen.

"Okay… Fine. I'll listen. But not here." Cristina was late for her surgery. A part of her believed it was really Derek but a part of her was telling her to run.

"I don't know where we could talk… They follow me everywhere! I have no privacy. I can't contact Meredith or my mother, anyone from my old life." Derek was almost in tears now. Running into Cristina was very emotional for him. He had waited almost a year for this moment. A moment to talk to someone who knew him as Derek. A way out of this painful situation.

"Who's they?" As soon as Derek confessed that people were following him, she knew it was him. She knew he was in trouble. Big trouble."

"The CIA." He whispered it in case anyone was listening. "Unfortunately, I don't know much. All I know is I woke up in a hospital in Paris with a new identity. I have an agent assigned to me. He has my phone bugged and watches my every move. The only reason I am in this hospital is to follow-up with my doctor."

Cristina was trying to process everything. She looked at her watch and realized she was really late to her surgery. "I want to talk but, I am late for a surgery." Cristina reached into her pocket for a piece a paper and wrote something down. "Here is my hotel I am staying at. Meet me there tonight and we can talk."

"Okay… Thank You. I will see you later." Cristina nodded with approval and walked out into the hallway and to her surgery. Derek took a deep breath and let out a long sigh. He was exhausted but grateful. Grateful he ran into her today. He was hopeful for once in a long time.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: I am so sorry this took forever. I was really busy and kinda in a rut. Also, I'm sorry if Christina's attitude toward Derek is no what you envision but all I could think about was snarky Christina. Oh and sorry if Derek being super emotional makes you mad too. I am just very emotional right now so it's reflecting into my writing. So let me know what you think. Again, that you so much for all the lovely reviews. They keep me going. Love you all 3

* * *

That evening, Derek knocked on the hotel room door. He was so glad he ran into Christina. Hope filled the air and Derek started to believe he could see his wife and kids again someday. On his way home, he daydreamt about meeting Meredith.

 _Walking down the airport corridor, he catches eye contact with her. She begins to tear up and puts her head through her knees. He runs to her and squats down so his face is face-to-face with her. They kiss and it feels like he never left. They walk out of the airport with arms around each other holding the other tightly._

He knew this daydreaming would only provide temporary joy but he deserved that minute of joy.

Christina answered the door and invited Derek in. "So am I allowed to call you Derek or will the CIA kill me?"

"I do have another name, but since we aren't in public, Derek is fine." Derek chuckled at her sarcasm. It brought back the days they spent a Grey Sloan Memorial. A lot has changed since then. Inside the hotel room, Derek sat on the couch while Christina poured him a drink. She then settled in the chair. "Nice room. It's big."

"Thanks, perks of being a world-renowned surgeon. The hospital in Paris spoiled me." The small talk was awkward and she was bursting with curiosity. She couldn't wrap her brain around the fact that Derek didn't die in a car crash. Christina decided to just jump right in. "So, tell me everything. Start from the beginning."

"Honestly, I can't tell you much. I've been trying to figure it out myself but they've got my phone bugged, they follow me everywhere, and it's not like I can just google it." Derek took a deep breath. Saying all this out loud was hard. He hadn't had anyone to talk to about this. The agent didn't count. He was just protecting his ass, he didn't care about Derek's feelings, at least that's how Derek felt. "All I know is that after the car accident, I somehow ended up in a Paris hospital."

"Do you not remember Meredith coming to that hospital out in the middle of nowhere? She unplugged you. You were brain dead and she unplugged you."

"I vaguely remember her... " Derek had major memory loss from the traumatic accident. He was trying to remember but it was making him emotional. "Christina, I'm sorry…" Derek started to tear up. This was too much for him.

Christina noticed Derek's tears. She walked over and sat next to him. "Look, they mostly likely gave you a sedative when you were supposedly brain dead. It was probably strong enough to lower your heart rate to nothing. When she unplugged you, the drugs made you seem like you were dead. That's my professional opinion." Christina started to giggle a little because she thought of something to lighten the mood. "That's how I would do it if I wanted to make someone disappear."

Derek laughed at Christina's comment. She always knew how to lighten the mood. Derek needed that. He needed her. "Why do you think they did it? I've been over my work in D.C. a thousand times. None of it was risky. It was brain mapping. There's nothing top secret about it."

"I don't know. It could be anything. What about that girl who picked up your phone when Mer called? The one you cheated with?"

"For the record, I did not cheat. She kissed me, I got upset and got on a plane to Seattle. I never saw her after that." Bringing up Renee brought back memories of Meredith and him fighting about D.C. He started to get emotional again.

"Okay, sorry I opened up old wounds. No offense, I don't remember you being this emotional..." Christina felt bad for Derek but she wasn't going to miss an opportunity to tease him.

"Why don't you get hit by a semi truck, almost die, and then end up in a different city with a different name. Oh and don't forget that you can't contact anyone ever again." Derek knew that coming to Christina's hotel tonight and talking to her was a step forward. But he was not in the mood for her sarcasm. He needed five minutes of support. Maybe he was overreacting but he didn't care at this point. It was Christina and he knew she would tolerate him for tonight.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I know this is tough. I'm willing to help but we need to talk about when Meredith finds out that you aren't dead."

"I know it will be hard for her. But seriously Christina? Meredith has been through a lot. She can handle it. She is stronger than I am."

"I'm just saying she has been through alot this year. We just need to make sure we find the right place and time. Especially with the CIA. This could get messy. Are you willing to risk that?" As she was saying this, she realized that Derek didn't know about Ellis. Christina contemplated telling Derek about his new child.

"I will do anything to see her again. She is the love of my life, Christina. The past few months have been hell. I just want to see her again." Derek took a deep breath.

"Derek, I need to tell you something... about Meredith." Christina hesitated. She didn't want to have to tell Derek this. No matter how much she didn't want to tell him, she knew he needed to know. This news would give him hope. "Meredith was pregnant during your accident. She just had a beautiful baby girl, Ellis…"

"Really?" Derek seemed calm on the outside but his mind was going crazy on the inside. _Meredith was pregnant? A baby? A baby girl? Ellis?_ "Are they doing well? Is Amelia helping her out? Is Meredith ok?" Derek wanted to know everything.

Christina was expecting a different reaction. However, she was glad at how he took it. Derek's eyes lit up the moment she said the word 'pregnant'. "She moved to New York for the pregnancy. After the accident, living in Seattle and pregnant with your baby was too much for her. She needed a break. They are back in Seattle now and doing very well. I've been talking to her once a week. Meredith doesn't say much about how she feels. I can tell she is still struggling but like you said, she is strong. And yes, Amelia and Maggie and Alex are there for her."

At that point, Derek leaned toward Christina and gave her a hug. He was so grateful for running into her at the hospital. He finally got the breakthrough he needed. A new dose of hope gave him the boost to continue to fight for his family and freedom. "That's great to hear. Can you keep me updated? Now that I know about my daughter, I am anxious to hear all about her."

"Sure, no problem. I understand." Christina could tell that Derek was feeling better and she was overjoyed.

"Hey, sorry, but the CIA guys think you are some prostitute or someone I am hooking up with tonight. Can I just sleep on the couch? I'm really don't want to go back to my lonely apartment."

"Sure, I'll get you an extra blanket and pillow."

That night, Derek dreamt about Meredith and his baby girl. He envisioned her looking like Meredith; light brown hair and green eyes. Derek couldn't wait to meet her. He couldn't wait to see her bright smile.


	8. Chapter 8

AN: Sorry this took forever. I was really struggling with this one. I didn't know where I wanted to go. After rereading the story a few times, I finally decided on this chapter. Let me know what you think. Thank you all for your very kind reviews and comments. I really appreciate them. They keep me going. Sorry for the grammar errors, it kinda came spewing out and I knew if I went back I would change it and I didn't want to. Thanks again!

* * *

"Get your lazy butt out of bed, it's already eight o'clock and I have to catch a plane back home." Christina had been up since six but after last night, she understood that Derek probably hadn't slept well since the accident.

Derek woke up feeling like he had just been in a coma. He had slept so well; probably due to the overwhelming feeling of hope in his stomach. For the first time, in a long time, he could see the light at the end of the tunnel. One way or another, Christina was going to help him. "Sorry, I'll get out of your hair." Derek sat up on the couch and rubbed his dry eyes.

Christina, impatient, sat down in the chair across him. "Look, I told you I will help figure all of this shit out. But, we have to act like everything's normal. I'll see if I can get more trips here but for right now you have to do some of your own recon. Start with your babysitter. See if you can turn him. He may be sympathetic to your cause."

"You mean Agent Clark? He's a douchebag. He doesn't care about my feelings. The only thing he cares about is protecting the CIA and their secrets. A good soldier, that's what he is."

"Derek… Forget it. I'll think of something else." Christina had flashbacks to Derek's stubborn tendencies. But she was determined to convince otherwise. She knew that Agent Clark was the only way to finding out what happened. "I have to get going. My flight leaves in three hours. You need to go shower. You stink."

"Thanks." Derek stood up and gathered his things. At the door, he turned and made eye contact with Christina. "Really, Christina. Thank you for listening." He opened the hotel door and walked out. On his way out of the hotel he thought about the last twenty four hours. _Recon? I am neurosurgeon not a detective…_ Walking home, he remembered he had a meeting with Agent Clark. He started to consider Christina's proposition. _Maybe I should try and be a little nicer to him._ Derek hadn't been the kindest person to his handler. He was past desperation. Willing to do anything to get his life back, he walked home, took a shower and prepared himself for the usually meeting.

* * *

"Bonjour, Ça Va?" Even though Agent Clark was American, he liked to act like he was French.

"Seriously, Clark?" Derek sat down with Agent Clark at their usual table at their usual cafe.

"You aren't fun at all." Clark took a drink of his coffee to hid his grin. He loved to tease Derek.

"I lost fun a long time ago." Even though he prepared himself to be nicer to Agent Clark, he just couldn't hold back his bitterness. Agent Clark knew exactly what to say to push Derek's buttons. After everything that happened, Derek had lost his ability to accept sarcasm the moment he lost his family. "Clark is pretty American. How did you end up with me in Paris?" Sipping his coffee, Derek silently hoped Clark would take the bait. Subtle was his weakness.

"Monsieur, you know I can't tell you that. I would have to kill you." Clark made eye contact with Derek and moved his lips into a Chester grin.

 _Dammit._ "I know you can't but I thought since we spend all this time together we should get to know each other. I'm sure you know everything about me but I think it's only fair I get to know you." The anticipation was killing Derek. He really wanted to rush to the important stuff. In the back of his mind, he knew that to get answers he had to play the game.

"Okay, fair enough. I was assigned to your case right after your accident. When I am not dealing with you, I have other jobs. You aren't that special. Believe it or not, people go through what you go through all the time. I know it doesn't feel this way, but this is for your safety and more importantly your family's safety." At this moment, Derek realized what the Agent was truly saying. No matter how much he wanted to protect his family, he missed them. A wave of contradictory selfishness and guilt washed over him. He started to doubt his intentions. _What if I end up hurting Meredith in the end? Or put my children in danger? My mother?_ _My sister?_ Derek sipped his coffee again and took a deep breath.

"I know we've been over this before, but I need to ask again. You say this happens all the time but I am a world-class neurosurgeon. To be honest, I don't think hiding out in Paris was a smart decision. I worked with international scholars and doctors all the time. What if I run into one on the street. How do I explain that? Okay, yea, my hair looks like shit and I look homeless. You've got to help me. I can't live like this forever... " Derek had more to say but the lump in his throat caught his off guard. Heave tears streamed down his face faster than it took him to realize he was crying. Clark saw the sorrow and pain in Derek's eyes. "Please, just think about it. If you don't see a solution to this hellhole then I'll find a way to live like this. But, I'm begging you. Please…" Derek was sobbing. He didn't even care that the whole cafe was watching him pour his heart out. Back in Seattle, he would of never shown this kind of emotion in public. Meredith and a few select doctors had been the only people who ever say this kind of sorrow in his eyes. The last time he felt like this was after the plane crash. Losing Mark and possibly losing his ability to be a surgeon took a large toll on his emotional stability. Derek stood up from the table, dropped a few coins on the table for his coffee and left the cafe. Through his tears and emotions, he hoped his dramatic, pathetic exit would prompt Clark to consider his request. Empathy, that's all he wanted.

* * *

"How was Paris? Did you eat any Macaroons? Kiss any cute French boys?" Meredith was facetiming Christina again while folding laundry in the dirty kitchen. She was great a multitasking. She had a lot of practice with three young energetic kids.

"Nice mess. It's nice to know that nothing's changed around there." Christina smiled on the outside but inside her mind was shouting. Avoiding the subject of Paris, she was afraid something would slip about Derek while talking to Meredith. She planned to tell Meredith eventually but she wanted to wait for the right time.

"You have to prioritize. Plus, Maggie and Amelia are supposed to do the cleaning. That's their rent." Meredith smiled back at Christina, she loved these conversations with her. Day after day, she would deal with overwhelming drama at the hospital. It was nice coming home and spending some quality screen time with her best friend. Thousands miles apart but not much changed.

"How are you doing?" Tension was building in Christina's chest. She was beginning to feel like she couldn't take full deep breaths.

"Numb... Right now I am just trying to get through the days. I will worry about the feelings later." Meredith appreciated Christina's concern but wasn't fully ready to talk about how she felt.

Panic hit Christina and she tried to gain control but she knew she couldn't hold on for too long. "Hey, Mere, I'm sorry. I gotta go. I have to prepare for a surgery. I'll call you later, okay?"

"No worries. I understand. I'll talk to you later." Meredith felt a sense of awkwardness between them.

"I love you. And hey, Mere, everything will be okay. Maybe you should see that therapist again? Just talk to someone, okay? I miss you. I'll talk to you soon." Christina rushed to finish her sentence before her panic attack became obvious. She ended the call right after she finished.

Meredith was shocked at how quickly Christina ended the call. _Maybe she really did need to go?_ After a few moments of suspicion, Meredith came to the conclusion that Christina was busy. This happened all the time. They always found a way to make their busy lives work. She picked up the now neatly folded clothes and started towards the stairs. _I'm going to be okay._


	9. Chapter 9

AN: I am so sorry this took so long. Honestly, I had been struggling hardcore since the last chapter. And then I took a shower this morning and all these ideas like exploded in my mind. Lol so sorry if this doesn't flow well... Thank you again for all of your comments, they mean the world to me. Hope you enjoy :)

* * *

Clark was sitting in front of his laptop in his small crowded Parisian apartment. Telephone sounds pierced his ears as he patiently waited for his wife to answer the Skype call. Her beautiful face appeared on the screen and Clark's breath was immediately gone. His heart skipped a beat. He missed her so much. He took this assignment out of patriotism, a soldier for his country. But he hated being away from his family. Sarah, his wife, had been putting on a brave face for him the past year but he knew she was struggling inside.

"Hey, babe." Clark always tried to keep their calls flirty. He didn't get to talk to her much and he didn't want to fight.

"Hi." Sarah was having a rough day. The kids were throwing temper tantrums left and right. She had hoped this call with her husband would cheer her up. However, a feeling of anger and frustration was starting to boil in her stomach. She missed her husband and was mad at the government for taking him away from her. Also, she had no idea what he was doing. All she knew was that he was in Paris, France working as a financial advisor. His work was always classified but he never left the country, not until this assignment.

"How are you? How are the kids?" Clark could feel something was up and felt guilty he wasn't there to comfort her. He tried to keep himself strong but reminding himself that this sacrifice would be worth it in the end.

"I am fine. Yesterday, the kids were amazing. Today, they are evil demons. So who knows what's up." Sarah was trying really hard to keep her composure.

With that response, Clark knew something was up. "Honey, what's going on. This isn't you. What's on your mind?" He really didn't want to fight. Derek was enough to handle. He just really wanted to know his family back in the states was okay.

"I just miss you... That's all." Sarah was now on the verge of tears.

"Let it out, honey. I can take it. Don't hold back." Clark and Sarah always had an honest open relationship. They had no secrets. Both having parents who rarely ever talked to one another, they really wanted their relationship to work. This assignment had put a huge toll on their marriage. Sarah so scared of losing Clark.

"I am just so angry at you for leaving and the government for sending you… I don't know how much more I can take. I am constantly worry about you and if you are okay… I just want you back." Tears streamed down her face as she lowered her head. Sarah felt pathetic for being so needy. But she was past acting fine for Clark. The day he came home and told her he was going to Paris she was scared but she told herself that they were going to be okay. A few months went by and things started to decompose. How much longer would he be in Paris? Months? Years? She wanted him to be happy and successful but at what point does she get to be happy?

"Honey, I know this is tough. I miss you too. I am so sorry I am putting you through this…" Now Clark was on the verge of tears.

Sarah tried to pull herself together. Looking up, she saw the guilt and concern on Clark's face. "Do you know when you are coming back?" She was searching for a small beam of hope to hold onto.

"I don't know, honey. The threat is still active. Until we catch these guys I have to be here…" What Clark didn't tell Sarah was that nothing had progressed for over two months. The trail to find the bad guys had gone cold. Right now, his job was to make sure Derek didn't do something stupid. Truth was, he was tired of Paris and being away from his family.

The conversation went silent. They sat there with their heads down for what is seemed like forever.

Sarah broke the silence: "I gotta go. The kids should be getting up for school soon. I talk to you later. Be safe. I love you." Before Clark could respond, Sarah had ended the call. She immediately regretted it but maybe it would push him to figure out their future. She knew one thing, they couldn't live like this.

* * *

Derek stood in the long line for the Eiffel Tower. He had been in Paris for over a year now and had yet to visit the Eiffel Tower. Being a prisoner, he rarely had any motivation to be a tourist. Also, he had always imagined doing all of those cliche things with Meredith on a romantic trip to the City of Lights.

Earlier that day, he had gotten a strange text from a number he didn't recognize asking him to meet this unknown person on the top of the Eiffel Tower. Before, Derek would have not taken the risk. Now, he didn't really care.

Reaching the top, he realized he didn't know who he was meeting. _Who am I looking for?_ Shrugging his shoulders, he figured he would take a few laps around the tower and figured the person would find him.

* * *

Clark stood at the top of the Eiffel tower desperately waiting for Derek to step off the elevator. _What if he doesn't show?_ He had sent the text through a burner phone. His bosses and coworkers had been watching Derek and him very closely. If he was caught conspiring with Derek, his career would be over. At this point, he didn't care either way. Just like Derek, he wanted to get home to his wife and family and was willing to risk everything for them.  
The elevator doors opened to Derek peeking out of the crowded elevator. He decided he would let Derek take a lap or two before approaching him.

Derek took a lap and then stopped to gaze into the distance at the city below him. It was absolutely beautiful and he was blown away. Trying his best to keep his eyes dry, he thought about Meredith and his children. Gosh, I miss them so much.

Clark walked up next to Derek. "Honestly, I am not surprised you took the risk. I don't know why I doubted you." Derek turned to the familiar agent next to him. Clark sent the text? Hope started to grow in his mind and he tried his best not to smile.

"I figured I had nothing to lose at this point." As Derek spoke, Clark held out his hand and handed Derek a flash drive.

"This is everything I know. Don't tell anyone I gave you this. This meeting never happened. Understood? I'll see you at our next scheduled check in." Before Derek could respond, Clark had been sucked into the crowd of tourist. He was speechless. Standing there staring at the flash drive in his hand, the world faded away. Weeks ago, he had never imagined this. He finally had answers. Slipping his hand and the flash drive into his pocket, he then too got sucked into crowd.

* * *

Slamming the door, Derek rushed to his laptop in the safety of his apartment. His hands shook as he struggled to insert the flash drive into the slot. Within a few seconds, thousands of files appeared on the screen. Derek was overwhelmed at the information. He didn't know where to start. He got up to grab the bottle of liquor, took a swig and sat back down to opened the first file.

* * *

A few days later, Derek should at the familiar cafe to meet Clark. His eyes had dark rings around them from the lack of sleep. From the moment he got that flash drive, he had spent every moment sorting through those files. Living off of coffee, liquor and the occasional steak, he looked like an absolute wreck. To be honest, he hadn't gotten very much sleep since he arrived in Paris. The difference was that this lack of sleep was chosen. He was too mesmerized by the information Clark gave him.

"Man, have you slept in days? I know you are desperate but seriously you aren't playing the part well." Clark was kinda annoyed at Derek. It was obvious Derek had had a breakthrough. Anyone with a brain could of figured out what was really going on.

"Sorry, I know I am supposed to keep everything on the down low but there was a lot of stuff to go through."

Clark immediately hushed Derek. They couldn't discuss the flash drive. Someone could hear them. He didn't care about his job anymore but he needed to keep his integrity.

"Okay, so I've read everything but it hasn't processed yet. Can you explain?" The lack of sleep and proper food was not helping Derek with comprehending the material he was given.

"Okay, I'll try. I don't know much more than you… First of all, I am not technically with the CIA. I am Secret Service. The President assigned me to your case with the CIA… Okay, where do I start…" Clark took a sip of his coffee and a deep breath. "It all started with your work with the President in DC, obviously. At first everything was okay but then we got a flag on someone you worked with. Renee. She is secretly a Russian Spy. We aren't completely sure but we think her mission was to get close to you to get access to the program. Brain Mapping is harmless until another country wants to use it against us. We still aren't sure exactly what they want it for. Anyways, we had been watching her. Things went south when she kissed you. Yes, we saw that. By the way, I want to applaud you on that. You are a role model for going back to your wife."

"That's great to know… Wait, if Renee wanted access to the program why couldn't of she just stolen it? She didn't need me. She had full access to the program." Derek was confused.

"Yes she could have. But you are the key. It's your program. Like I said, we don't know much. We think she was going to turn you. She was going get close to you and then convince you to betray your country. We thought everything was okay when you quit the program. But turns out she wasn't satisfied. We got a tip that the people she was working with was going to Seattle to use your family as bait. And she disappeared after you left. That's why we asked you to come back to Washington. We were going to explain everything to you. Agents were sent to Seattle to protect your family. Everything was working until you got in that accident. Our agents there luckily saved your life but the threat to Meredith and your family was so high we had to do something. And that's how you ended up here."

Derek struggled with conflicting emotions. Part of him was angry for the decisions the President and the CIA made but at the same time he was grateful for the sacrifice. In addition, he was overwhelmingly confused about Renee. Yes, he did find her advances uncomfortable but she seemed innocent. Derek took a deep breath. "Is there still agents in Seattle protecting Meredith?"

"Yes. We have someone who's a doctor in the hospital." Clark was relieved at how well Derek was taking everything.

"Who?" Derek had been secretly keeping up with the doctors at Grey Sloan Memorial.

"His name is Nathan Riggs. He was a military doctor who worked with Dr. April Kepner in Jordan. He also is connected to Dr. Owen Hunt. We chose him for his connections. He is there to protect Meredith and Amelia. He is also assigned to eventually get Dr. Hunt in on it but right now we are running into some drama." Clark immediately regretted how much detail he was telling Derek. Things were messy in Seattle and getting Derek involved could be dangerous.

"Drama?" Derek was curious now.

"It's nothing. Dr. Riggs was married to Dr. Hunt's sister."

"The one that is dead?"

"Yes. Dr. Hunt is having some trouble accepting Dr. Riggs."

"Ah… I see now. So what happens now? You told me all this. Now you can't expect me to just continue like this." Derek was interested in what was happening in Seattle but he had to keep his priorities straight. They needed to find Renee and her coworkers and put this fiasco to bed.

"Well, like I said. Renee has disappeared and we don't have any leads. All we know is that you and your family is still in danger. I'll see what I can do but for right now you just need to keep your mouth shut and trust me. I want to get back to my family too but we have to be careful. Trust me, please."

"I do." Derek did trust Clark. After the past few days, he had no doubt that Clark had sympathy and empathy for him. They were both stuck in Paris away from their families. Leaving the cafe, he knew what he needed to do, fill in Christina.

* * *

"You've been to Paris a lot the past few months. What's up with that?" Meredith wasn't suspicious of anything, just curious. Paris had an amazing medical industry there.

"The cardio program there is amazing. I don't think I'll ever move there but I do plan on going there occasionally for a surgery." Christina was trying really hard to keep her composure. The desire to ask Meredith to come to Paris was overwhelming. First, she missed her best friend. And secondly, Derek needed her. The past few weeks, she had been racking her brain to think of a way to get Meredith to Paris. "You should come visit. The general program here is pretty great. And you need a vacation from those crazy kids."

"I would love to but I can't just leave them here…" The kids had already lost their father. She felt guilty every time she had to work late or leave them for more than twenty-four hours.

"Maggie and Amelia can watch them. You need it, Mere…. Just at least think about it. I gotta go, I've got a surgery to prepare for. I love you, Mere. Talk to you soon."

"Okay, I'll think about it. Happy? I love you too. Talk to you later." The call ended.


	10. Chapter 10

AN: Sorry for the short chapter and the cliffhanger. But no worries, I will have another chapter soon. I promise. I apologize for not being present the past few months. I have been having a rough time adjusting to college and all my friends leaving. And, I have been pretty angry at Greys Anatomy recently. That winter finale helped though so maybe the rest of the season won't suck as much. Anyways, I hope you enjoy. Please leave comments. They really help keep me going. Thanks :)

* * *

"Wow, your life sucks." Derek had just finished filling in Christina on his new information.

"Whatever, what's next? Did you talk to Mer?" Since his meeting with Clark, Derek had relaxed.

Christina's sarcasm didn't bother him as much as it had before. However, he needed to stay focus on Meredith and his kids. Somehow, they needed to get Meredith to Paris.

"Yes, she isn't opposed to coming to Paris. She doesn't want to leave the kids even though I told her Amelia and Maggie could watch them. I am working with the hospital. There is a really big conference of general surgeons in a few weeks. I am going to convince her to come for that. Relax, you are going to get back to your family." Christina could see the overwhelming need in Derek's eyes. Over the past few months, he has been stripped of his identity and forced to live in a completely different world.

"Okay, thank you. I have to go figure out what was so important that Renee wanted. Let me know when you get Meredith here." Christina gave Derek a comforting hug before he left her hotel. As soon as he left, she sent Meredith a text message about the conference.

* * *

"So what's our plan?" Derek and Christina had met to discuss Meredith coming to Paris for the conference.

 _What if Meredith doesn't want to see Derek? What if she freaks out and runs around the hospital in a panic? Wait, no, this is Meredith Grey we are talking about. She doesn't panic, she faces things head on. What happens after we tell her what's going on? She will have to…_

"Christina?"

"What?" Christina was distracted by the many thoughts running through her head.

"Plan?" Derek noticed the distance in Christina but now was not the time for therapy.

"Oh, yea… Umm… I was thinking you should come to the hospital. Say its… uh… post-accident check up or something." Ever since Meredith agreed to come, she had been rehearsing and analyzing everything. Nothing could go wrong.

"The agent who is in charge of looking after me is on my side. We don't have to hide anything."

"We don't know about the rest of the CIA. Or worse, the people they are trying to steal your precious program." Derek paused. Christina had a point. Even though Clark had risked his career to helping Derek, they couldn't risk anything. "Okay, here's the plan. I will be at the hospital with Mer for the conference. When we have a break, I will ask her to come to a consult for me. That's where you come in. You will be the consult. Happy?"

Smiling, "Sounds good to me." Derek was excited. He couldn't wait to see his wife. He imagined tears and hugs and kisses. He had waited so long and hardly lost hope. He knew deep down that life in Paris wasn't permanent, at least without Meredith.

* * *

Christina stood in the Paris airport patiently awaiting Meredith arrival. She was surprised that Meredith even said yes. After Derek's death, Meredith became very protective over her children. Yes, she had Maggie and Amelia but her kids didn't have the one important person in their lives; their dad. Christina was nervous about this trip. She had is all planned out but what if Meredith responded negatively to find out Derek was alive. Meredith had been coping with Derek's death for months now and she was just about to have her world shaken again. Deep down, Christina knew this was the right thing to do. They could worry about Renee and possible threats together later.

Meredith walked into the area Christina had been waiting with an eager smile. She had missed Christina. All the texts, phone calls, and video chats were not enough. Christina was her person.

"Hi." Meredith whispered while she set her luggage down to hug Christina. Their lasted a long time to make up for all the time apart.

After a few moments of silence, Christina asked, "How was your flight?"

"It was good, long, but good." Meredith was exhausted but didn't want to miss an opportunity to catch up with her best friend. "I am so hungry. Let's go get some food."

Christina and Meredith got a taxi and found a nice restaurant near their hotel. After a meal full of small talk and a few drinks, they head to their room.

"I would love to stay up late with you but we have a long day tomorrow and I am sure you are exhausted from the flight." Honestly, Christina was sick to her stomach. Tomorrow, after the conference, Christina was going to get her, Derek, and Meredith in a room together and that made her anxious.

Meredith agreed and the two got ready for bed and settled to sleep in their separate beds. They both needed as much rest as possible for the day that was coming.

* * *

"Man if I had a dollar for every time they mentioned my mother, I could buy another hospital," joked Meredith. She had just finished the first session of the conference. She had gotten many comments about her late mother and she was flattered. She just wished that one day she hold a legacy like her mother's.

"For some reason, the french really love Americans." Christina tried really hard to hide her nervousness. "Hey… um… I have a patient that needs a general consult. Do you have a moment?" Sweat was starting to form on Christina's forehead. She felt hot and claustrophobic. Pushing away those thoughts, she focused on the task at hand, Derek.

"Can't you get another surgeon? We are in a hospital full of doctors. Plus, I don't speak french." Meredith didn't come to be a surgeon. Actually, she came to get away from the craziness at home.

"Uh.. He isn't french. He's actually American. Please? It's going to take another hour or so to get a general surgeon up here. You are right here. It will take five minutes." Christina was now shaking from the anticipation.

"Okay, fine. I'll do it. Where is this patient of yours?"

"Down here." Christina walked Meredith to the patient's room. Pausing, she took a deep breath and opened the door. Christina walked in but Meredith paused at the door. Lost for words, Meredith stood there unable to move while she stared at the figure in the room. Am I dreaming? She thought.


	11. Chapter 11

AN: Okay, here is what you all have been waiting for. Don't get mad that it's really short. I really struggled with this chapter but I knew I wanted to keep the focus on them meeting. Next chapter will be longer. It don't really like the ending but I didn't know how to end this chapter so yea. Anyways, I hope you enjoy. Comments are always welcome. :)

* * *

 _Am I dreaming?_ Meredith's body was paralyzed. Illuminated by the sunlight, Derek stood across the room from her. He looked as though he had just come back from war; battle scars and all. But, her husband looked at her was like he had just seen an angel. Actually, he was the angel. _He is dead. Derek is dead. How the hell is he alive? I watched him die in that pathetic hospital in the middle of nowhere. I buried him. I told our children he is dead._ After a few moments of hesitation and thoughts, Meredith took a step inside the room and closed the door behind her. She opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out; only emptiness. Honestly, she had so many questions to ask of Derek, and Christina for that matter. First, she needed to touch him; to know he is really there in human form. Taking slow timid steps, she reached out and touched the angelic form. The electrifying touch made her gasp and tears flowed down her face. Next thing she knew, she was enveloped in her husband's warm familiar arms. Her tears soaked into his shirt while they stood together in silence. There were no words to describe what either of them were feeling at this moment.

* * *

The light from the window behind Derek illuminated Meredith with an angelic look. It took a moment for Derek to catch his breath. A couple months ago, he had no hope for this moment. He had waited so long and worked so hard to have this moment; one more moment with his wife. He wanted to run to her and sweep her off her feet. He wanted to feel her unbelievable warmth and smell her unique scent. But, he knew he needed to let her come to him. He began to think about how she must be feeling at this moment. Her whole life is being tossed and turned again. When she opened her mouth, his heart jumped with anticipation but he saw the hesitation. Tears started to form in the corner of his eyes. _What if she doesn't want this? What if this was too much for her to handle?_ Derek's thoughts were interrupted by the sudden contact. He slowly wrapped his arms around her body, cautious to not to push too far. Her tears formed a cool, wet puddle on his shirt but he didn't notice.

* * *

Derek finally broke the warm silence. "Meredith, I should probably explain…" He was interrupted by Meredith's eye contact. Still in eachother's arms, Derek leaned down and gave Meredith a gentle kiss. He would explain the details later, right now was a time for comfort.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I have a surgery. We need to talk though… Tonight? At my hotel? I'll order room service." Christina felt she needed to let Meredith and Derek alone for a little bit. "Be careful. We don't need any excitement right now." When Meredith and Derek realized what all Christina had said; she was already out the door.

Derek, wanting some special alone time with his wife, prompted that they head to his apartment. Hand in hand, the couple walked through and out of the hospital out into the busy streets of Paris.


	12. Chapter 12

I apologize in advance, this chapter is going to piss some people off. But, I promise you will get a resolution. I can't promise it will be super soon because I am taking 18 credit hours and working 3 part-time jobs so no time. Spring break is in a couple weeks though so I'm shooting to work on it then. Sorry for taking so long. I really struggled with this chapter, that is why it is so short. I know how the story is going to go but for some reason I can't get it out into words. But, I wanted to get you guys something and update you on why I am not updating much. Hopefully people are still reading this. Thanks for all of your support. Keep them coming, please! They motivate me! :)

* * *

The next morning Meredith had gone to the boulangerie for some breakfast, leaving Derek asleep in the apartment. When she came back, she felt an eerie feeling in the air as though something was not quite right. Walking into the bedroom, she noticed that things were out of place and that the bed was empty. Her bags fell to the floor like rocks while she started to gasp for air.

"Derek?" A million scenarios ran through her brain. "Derek?" She frantically searched around the apartment for any sign of her husband. And then it hit her, if Derek was in trouble, she was probably in trouble too. Both of them had made a risky decision on going against the CIA's wishes. She needed to get out and fast.

* * *

Christina was in the process of packing her bags. She felt as though her work in Paris was complete. Meredith and Derek reunited and there seemed to be no intimate threats at this time. She decided it was time to get back to Switzerland.

She was just getting ready to zip up one of her suitcases when there was a loud, frantic knock at the door.

"Christina!" More knocks followed the frightened call. "Christina!"

She opened the door to Meredith standing the hotel hallway looking as though she just witnessed a brutal murder. Meredith pushed Christina out of the way and through the doorway before Christina had the chance to ask why she was here and not with Derek.

"Derek is missing."

"What? How?" Christina shouldn't have even thought that things were over with the secret spy stuff.

"I went to a bakery around the corner this morning to get breakfast and when I came back Derek was gone and the apartment was torn apart. Something isn't right." After saying it out loud, Meredith felt the depth of what was going on and started to panic.

"Breathe. We will figure this out. First, we need to go back to the apartment and see if we can find any clues." Even though deep down she was panicking too, Christina knew she needed to be strong for Meredith. She had been through enough the past year, she needed someone to lean on.


	13. Chapter 13

AN: Okay, here is the next chapter! I hope you enjoy! Reviews make me write more so please review. Thanks!

* * *

Derek awoke to a shooting pain in his neck. As he stirred he realized that his hands and feet were bound and he wasn't quite sure where he was.

"Derek Shepherd. Or should I call you _Jacques Andre_?" The woman emphasized former name as though she knew it was a fraud. Derek was still recovering from the drugs the unknown woman and her crew used to sedate him. He couldn't make out who or where the voice was coming from.

The woman paused and let the silence creep for a moment before you stood and started walking forward. As she came into the light above Derek, he could make out the woman more clearly and he knew exactly who she was. _Renee_

"You know, you were supposed to be an easy target. My mission was to get close to you, maybe get in your pants, piss your wife off, get the material I needed, and then take you out." Renee was now standing in front of Derek in a confident stance.

"What material was that again?" Derek's neck was killing him and he wanted so badly to not be in the situation he was in but he knew there was a task at hand. Meredith and the kids were the main priority, they needed to be safe. He knew as long as either him or Renee was alive they would never be truly safe. Only one person was going to get out of this dark, cold room tonight.

While Renee rambled on with her egotistical motives, Derek started to brainstorm all the ways he could get out of this situation.

"I really hate your wife right now, you know that right? When we picked up at your apartment, she was supposed to be there too. I wanted both of you. I had plans for you two. That bitch disappeared. Oh well, you will do." Derek tried not to let Renee's disgusting comments about his wife sink in. He took a deep breath and refocused. _Meredith_. Renee just showed a weakness that he could exploit. That was a good place to start.

He had hoped that Meredith had come back to the apartment, realized something was off, and left as soon as possible. According to Renee, she did and he was very glad. He also knew that Meredith wouldn't leave him in the dust. Not this time. She would do whatever she could to rescue him, at least he hoped so.

* * *

"Okay, so we need a plan. First, what do we know?" Christina was pacing her hotel room while Meredith sat on the couch with her face in her hands. She was trying really hard to focus her thoughts. "Meredith?"

Looking up from her hands, Meredith spoke, "Uh, I don't know anything. You tricked me into coming here remember?"

"Didn't Derek explain things?"

"No, not really. We were too busy _reconnecting_ …" Meredith felt a burst of warmth from her last word. Time really makes a difference. "All I know is that the CIA and the president are involved and that skank Renee… What do you know?"

"Apparently more than you! We need to figure out a way to contact Derek's agent. I think his name was Clark or something. He can help us." Both of them had no idea who took Derek or where he was. They needed someone that had resources. Clark was there best chance right now. "Did Derek say anything about how to get a hold of him? Did you two even talk about the fact that he was still in danger?"

That last part stung Meredith. She put her face back down into her hands and took a deep breath. _Think Meredith._ "The burner phone." She meant it to come out at a normal volume but it was more a whisper.

"What?"

Meredith looked up again, "The burner phone. Derek had a burner phone that I believe he used to contact his agent. He told me that if anything happened to call the previous number on the recent call list."

" _Mhmm, who knew sex would be that good after all this time?" Meredith rolled into Derek's arms and nestled her head in the crook of his neck._

 _Derek wrapped his arms around her warm body and smiled, "Well, they say absence makes the heart grow fonder" After a moment of silence, they both broke into laughter. It was as though no time had past._

 _Derek placed his hand on Meredith's chin and tilted her head up so that they could make eye contact. "I love you, Meredith and I am sorry for putting you through hell."_

" _I love you too." Meredith couldn't help but just smile. No words could describe how she was feeling in that moment._

 _After a few moments, Derek reached over to the night table and presented a burner phone. "If anything were to happen to me, call the last number on the recent calls. That is my agent. He will know what to do."_

" _Derek…" The moment of happiness was over, Meredith grew fearful again. What did he mean "if anything were to happen to me"?_

" _Promise me?" Derek needed Meredith to be strong. Renee was still out there. He could still be in danger._

" _I promise." They shared a long kiss and Meredith put her head back on Derek's chest as they fell into a much needed sleep._

"Ok, good. We need to get back to the apartment and find that phone." Christina was now gaining some hope.

Regaining consciousness to the present, "I can't go back there. There are people probably waiting for me to come back to take me too." Meredith knew better than to walk back into that trap, but she knew that that phone was their only hope.

"Then I will go. They don't know who I am." _In and out,_ Christina thought.

"Ok, let's go."


	14. Chapter 14

AN: Sorry for the wait, again. I really don't have any good excuses except for classes, work, and vacation. Thank you to all who are still reading this. This one was kinda difficult to write because I honestly don't know how to write a rescue. I took some ideas from NCIS and other crimes shows I watch so hopefully it doesn't disappoint. I think there will be two more chapters and I can't tell you when they are going to posted. Please leave comments? :)

* * *

Walking into the safe house, Clark asked the other agents present, "What do we got?" After receiving a call from Meredith, he caught the first flight to Paris. His wife had told him it was okay for him to leave but he knew deep down he needed to finish this mission for her. He also knew that he needed to see this mission through for Meredith and her husband.

"We've received new intel from the Préfecture de police de Paris. They accessed street cameras near Monsieur's apartment. We identified the van that took him and followed it to here, a warehouse in Paris' industrial district."

"What do we know about the warehouse?"

"We are currently working on that. So far, we know it is abandoned. Ops is working on getting a floor plan."

"Great, let's put together a plan for a raid." Clark stepped aside to get some coffee when a voice interrupted.

"I was under the impression that these guys were not looking for our Mr. Shepherd. Clark, can you tell me why I had to cancel my meetings today and fly from Washington D.C. to Paris today?" The voice was Clark's boss, assistant director of the CIA. Clark wondered how he found out about Derek being taken, and silently reminded himself to ask his team of agents later. Right now, he just needed to not be fired.

"Sir, up until last night, all intel showed that Derek was safe here. I am surprised as you are."

"Clean this up, Clark, or I will make your life a living hell." Before Clark could answer, the man was out the door. Clark stood there collecting his thoughts and refraining from replying with sarcastic comments that he knew would not help the matter. A young analyst interrupted.

"Sir, I think we've got something you want to see." Motioning for Clark to come over to the computer on the other side of the room, the analyst at the computer spoke, "I have been reviewing airport surveillance. Renee and four guys arrived yesterday morning off a flight from Moscow. We should anticipate at least those and others who may have come seperately."

"That's great. See if you can get facial recognition on those four and run them through interpol. I want to know everything there is to know about Renee and her team." And with that, Clark left the safe house himself to get Meredith. He knew that Meredith could be an important chess piece and knowing Rene, she would probably want to use her.

…

After Christina successfully retrieved the burner phone, Meredith contacted Clark to fill him on what happened. In that time, Christina had opened a bottle of tequila and was waiting for Meredith to get off the line.

"Ok, he is catching the first flight out tonight. He said to stay where we are and to not answer the door for anyone but him. We are having a meeting tomorrow afternoon to discuss the plan." Meredith barely got those few sentences out due to the feeling of panic. Of course she felt a little better after getting a hold of Clark but her husband was still missing, possibly being tortured by a mad woman.

"Good, now drink. You need to relax. There isn't anything we can do until Clark gets here tomorrow. So, drink and then get some sleep."

After a swig of the clear liquor Meredith chuckled at Christina's last comment. "Sleep? Are you kidding me? My husband is probably being tortured to death by that crazy bitch. I am not getting sleep tonight."

"Meredith, you need sleep. You won't do anyone good with no sleep."

"I've barely slept in months, I have three kids and up until two days ago a dead husband. Plus, I slept pretty damn well last night so I should be okay for a few days." The tequila was getting to her now.

"Can we please not discuss you and your husband's sexual activity right now?"

"You were the one to bring up sleep."

…

"I don't understand what you want from me. Why aren't you going after the people running to brain mapping program now? I am supposed to be dead, remember? I obviously don't have access to it anymore. Plus, you had access to the program. Why do you need me?"

"Very true. However, you have something that no one else has and I want it. You knew that program from top to bottom. You see, I've been having trouble figuring out a section that I know you know the answers to. That is why as soon as the ship arrives you are coming back to Russia with us. You will be of great use to us."

"I haven't practiced medicine in months. I am no help to you." Derek had to figure something out quick or the chances of him being saved before being forced on that ship were going to be slim. He silently prayed that Meredith had remembered the burner phone and that Clark and the CIA were looking for him. Right now, he needed to show some strength, throw Renee off her balance. "And, every CIA agent in three hundred square miles is looking for me and you. You aren't going to get me to Russia, I can promise you that."

"Oh, really?" Renee started to show a little less confidence. Regaining her composure, she responded, "I think you are underestimating my abilities." Renee walked a lap around Derek to assert her dominance and then left the room. Derek whispered, _Come on, Meredith._

…

Meredith was laying in the hotel bed when a knock was heard at the door. She ran to the door and looked to through the peephole. _Oh, Good._ Clark held up his CIA badge for her so she knew it was him. Meredith opened the door and welcomed Clark. "Thank you for coming. Derek had mentioned that you had a family. It must had been hard to leave them again."

"No worries, Dr. Grey. Your husband is my priority right now."

After a few seconds, which felt like minutes, of silence, Meredith asked, "So, do we… you know anything about who took him… or where he is?" She had gotten over the initial panic but her stomached still dropped at the thought of her missing husband.

"Yes, I received some intel this morning and we should know some more but this evening. You now need to come with me so I can insure your safety. The people who took Derek are most likely looking for you, as well."

"Okay, I'll grab my things. What about Christina? They could come for her too." Clark did not think about Christina and her connection to Derek. Meredith had a point: Christina was valuable too. "She can come too. We need to move now."

The three of them left for a safe house. After securing Meredith and Christina with agents, Clark returned to check in with the analysts.

…

"With thermal imaging, we've determined that Renee and two men are with Derek in this room." The analyst pointed to the computer screen for Clark. "The other two men are guarding the outside. Based off the floor plan we acquired, I suggested that you infiltrate here and here."

Clark was confident with the plan the analyst suggested. Renee and four men should be an fairly easy mission. "I am surprised she didn't bring more backup. That plan sounds good. We will go tonight, at eight. Everyone suit up."


End file.
